


Grenades and Waffles

by whatsyeroffer



Series: Something to Laugh About [6]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, Some angst, as always lots of cussing, everything under 1k goes here, fluffy crack with serious drabbles mixed in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 9,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12132312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsyeroffer/pseuds/whatsyeroffer
Summary: Because it's not all sunshine and rainbows... Well that's a lie. They're pretty happy and they're pretty gay...General Danvers flashfic collection~





	1. "You need my help, Agent Danvers." "Fuck off."

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these are 2 am fics or prompts or randomly inspired situational crack drabbles that I didn't really wanna expand upon (unless you want me to try honestly.)
> 
> Imma try to have the chapters as organized as possible cause I know how some collections can get...

In pursuit of a Fort Rozz escapee, Astra hugged Alex tight as she flew up about 100 stories to the rooftop of one of National City’s skyscrapers. The DEO Agent squirmed in her arms when they were over the building, so Astra released her hold haphazardly. Alex landed with an impressive roll before running with the momentum.

“Don’t worry Brave One I can take down the hostile.” Astra flew across the rooftop and began fighting the Wizard of Oz-esque flying monkey alien. He flapped his wings frantically, which created a whirlwind that didn’t even slow the Kryptonian down.

“General!” Alex growled, sprinting harder to catch up. Her gear strapped to her leg bounced with every step but the stun gun stayed pointed at the monster.

It had been like this, Astra attacking first and Alex chasing after her, ever since the General had informally joined the DEO. Alex hadn’t seen _any_ action in about a month- not with Astra taking them out at the first two minutes. That combined with Astra’s not-at-all subtle condescending tone when she’d say, ‘ _You tried your best, Alexandra.’_

It was getting on her last fuckin’ nerve.

_Astra was, of course, doing this on purpose._

The General grabbed the creature and put cuffs on his hands, but she struggled with what to do about his wings. The human had possession of the stun gun that would render his wings temporarily paralyzed… She waited rather impatiently for Alex to _finally_ get within range. The agent took the shot and the monkey man fell to the building’s rooftop, but not before his wings sent a gust of air at Alex, sending her flying off the edge of the building.

Astra freaked, dropping the unconscious hostile like a sack of potatoes, and went to swan dive off the building to catch her human, but Alex was hanging onto the edge for dear life. Astra bent down and reached for her wrists. Smirking haughtily, she couldn’t resist taunting her, “Look at me always having to save you…”

Alex stupidly reached up a hand to smack the Kryptonian’s offered hand away, she was back to holding on a second later, body swinging dangerously. She tried to pull herself up, but she was _barely_ hanging on.

“You need my help, Agent Danvers. Allow me.”

“Fuck off.” Alex couldn’t even heave herself up, since there was nothing under the edge of the rooftop. Her legs swung and flailed but that only made the situation worse.

Still, the General was squatted down in front of her and Alex ground her teeth together. “Alexandra, you are in a rather precarious situation.” Astra laughed, “Do not be stubborn.”

“Give me a second.” She growled.

The Kryptonian rolled her eyes. “There. One second. Now may I assist you?”

“No.”

Astra scoffed. “You are dangling off of a building.”

“ _No, really?”_ Alex grumbled sarcastically.

Astra shook her head and watched as Alex pivoted her legs to gain some momentum. Taking a risk, she timed the release of one hand with the swing and then smacked her palm onto the rooftop. She grunted with effort as she tried to pull herself up but her hand scrapped along the rough roof. It was _painful_ as her palm tore open.

And she was right back where she started, “Oh come _on_.”

She dared to glare at Astra, who was grinning at her struggle. Alex huffed and tried again. This time she did manage to get a little more leverage and she rather ungracefully heaved herself up from the edge of the building. She almost kissed the rooftop, but instead she tried to shove Astra’s hand away from where it landed on her arm.

“Stop, I’m fine.”

The last thing she expected was for the General to pick her up by the back of her collared shirt and fuckin’ fling her off the building. Alex sighed and crossed her arms, freefalling carelessly.

When Astra caught her, _she was going to be bruised to hell and back_ , Alex complained “I’m pretty sure you just broke your non-aggression agreement.”

“You pushed me first.” Astra retaliated.

“Shut up.” Then they were back on the rooftop next to the still passed out alien. Alex ran a hand through her hair. “You’re absolutely infuriating!”

Astra threw a hand up in the air, “And you are not completely maddening?”

Alex took a step forward, way too close into Astra’s personal space. The mood shifted instantaneously, “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I am.” Astra grinned and they kissed; sweet one minute and rough the next.

Eventually Alex pulled away, she touched the com on her ear and said, “Director, the hostile has been apprehended.”

“Good work, Agent Danvers. General.”

“Director Henshaw?” Alex asked in a fake chipper voice, “What request forms do I fill out to be assigned a new partner?”


	2. PTSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the /serious/ drabbles... Originally posted on tumblr but now it has a nice home here!
> 
> Astra has a traumatic episode triggered by Alex's phone alarm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An expanded scene from another one of my fics.
> 
> Mentions of blood and violence.

It was 5:59 am on a Wednesday morning. Two women slept soundly, exhausted from the nighttime escapades that left them covered only by a thin grey sheet. To compensate for the lack of covers on the bed, they were cuddled close.

Well, not cuddled. It was like they were trying to occupy the same space, like they wanted to break the laws of physics to be closer.

Alex lay on her side, using Astra’s shoulder as a pillow. Her arm stretched across the woman’s midsection and one leg was thrown over Astra’s hip. Astra was settled comfortably on her back, holding Alex. Her head was tilted to the side from where she had fallen asleep watching her mate dream.

Then it was 6:00am and the peaceful air was completely shattered by the sudden blaring of Alex’s phone from her bedside table.  _Radar_ as it was called on her phone sounded exactly like an evacuation alarm...

Astra bolted up and shoved some weight off of her, heart racing. Convinced she was living that hellish mission again, she dove from the bed. Her hands automatically came up to cover her ears, eyes clenching shut.

_Panic alarms shrieking in the dark corridors of the building. Red emergency lights flashing in a slower beat. Paranoia seeping deep at every doorway kicked open. The face of a ghost, the terror in her green eyes._

_Gunshots. Screams. That nonstop, deafening evacuation alarm._

Meanwhile Alex was reeling from the rude awakening of her phone and being thrown back by Astra. She blinked up at the ceiling for a second, trying to understand reality, before she sat up, reached for her phone and turned off the stupid alarm. She looked around, mind still trying to process where the fuck Astra could’ve disappeared to.

Then she heard quiet, hysterical mutterings of “No, no, no.”

_The splattering of blood on the walls, on her face wet and warm._

“Astra?” Alex peaked over the edge of the bed and her lover was crouched on the floor by the bedside. Astra didn’t even react to her voice.

_Stepping over dead bodies._

Alex slowly reached out to touch Astra’s bare shoulder, calling her name again. “Astra,” The woman flinched violently, but she continued to softly stroke up and down her arm, “Hey, Astra it’s okay. You’re safe. Astra, you’re okay.”

Astra felt the touch, heard the familiar voice. She sucked in a deep breath as the traumatic memories faded and it was like she woke up for a second time. She moved her hands from her ears, the ringing had finally stopped.

She turned to look up from the floor, “Alexandra?” Her heart pounded strong in her chest.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, “Astra, are you okay?”

Astra couldn’t remember what had scared her. She knew she had night terrors, remnants of the battles she had fought in. She nodded hesitantly and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to piece it all together.

“Your alarm…” She finally realized, whipping her head around to look at Alex.

Alex rubbed a hand soothingly up and down her lover’s back. “Sorry, I didn’t know…” She bit her lip, fighting guilt. She tried to pull Astra to the bed with her. “Lay down with me, you’re okay now.”

Astra shifted and sighed when Alex held her tight. She could’ve fallen back asleep as Alex caressed her back, fingertips ghosting up and down her spine. But then she said, “You need to go to work.”

“Five more minutes?”

They lay in silence for the next five minutes, neither willing to bring up what happened.


	3. Running in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another (actual drabble) uploaded originally on tumblr.
> 
> We've got Astra strolling lazily in the park while Alex is completing her morning jog.
> 
> Actually fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ya know... I did add stuff. Possessive!Astra is too good to pass up

Astra strolled around the city park pond. Ducks sunbathed by the shore and turtles were sitting on rocks in the middle of the water. She couldn’t help but smile at the serene scene. The park was busy this morning with elderly couples on benches, teenagers and young adults on cellphones, and athletes jogging.

_Speaking of…_

She could hear the familiar footfalls of her mate coming up behind her, she smirked. Before Alex could announce she was _“On your left,”_ for the third time that morning, Astra reached out and caught her by the waist. She used the momentum to spin them around so as not to hurt her (like the first time she had attempted the stunt and Alex ended up with bruised ribs).

Alex let out a surprised noise and laughed hard when Astra finally stopped spinning them. The General grinned down at her, “Having fun, Brave One?”

Her human leaned up to peck a kiss on her cheek, “Yeah, but I got five more laps so…” She smiled as she took off jogging again.

Astra hated to see her go, but loved to watch her leave. _Especially when she wore those mesh shorts._

Once the Kryptonian had completed a loop of the pond, she walked towards the middle of the park where the mini-gardens were. She admired the hard working bees and the bright colors of the flowers. She looked up long enough to beam as Alex passed on the outer loop of the gardens. Alex waved, nearly running into a woman walking her dog as her attention was diverted.

Astra shook her head in amusement, wandering around the area. She was lost in thoughts of getting Kara a puppy. The daydreams of what kind of dog she would have and Kara’s elation and adoration of the pup kept her entertained, there was a smile on her face.

Until Alex passed by again, this time jogging beside a shorter woman. It was a little unusual since her mate found running with other people too distracting. But she looked like she was having fun, laughing and gesturing with her hands about something. Astra had to focus her super hearing on the buzzing of bees to maintain their privacy.

She moved from the gardens to the fountain, where it was a little noisier. On her way there though she saw Alex and the other woman had stopped to chat. She raised an eyebrow when the short one reached out to brush a hand down Alex’s arm.

Astra frowned as she continued observing. They were talking very animatedly about something, but Alex had to match one step back for every step forward the other woman moved. It was like the short one was targeting her as prey. Slowly invading her personal space…

Astra wasn’t one to feel jealous, possessive perhaps but never jealous. So she was impressed at the mild _distress_ she felt watching the other woman make a move. The Kryptonian decided listening in was well within her right now.

Alex’s face flushed as the woman asked her on a date, promising drinks and suggestive dancing.

Astra crossed her arms and waited for Alex's response.

“Oh, I can’t.”

Not the _best_ , but it seemed she was flustered.

The other woman wouldn’t be denied though. She tried to reschedule, saying the invitation was always open and Astra rolled her eyes.

Alex shook her head and tried to stutter something out, but Astra decided to intervene. She calmly sauntered over, coming up behind her mate. She met the other woman’s eyes, pulled an evil grin, and landed a pretty solid kick into one of Alex’s ankles.

Alex buckled from the force and she started to fall back. Astra caught her with an arm behind her back and the other capturing one of her flailing wrists. Alex’s eyes were wide in shock as she looked up at her girlfriend.

Astra just smirked as she claimed Alex’s lips in what she felt was a damn romantic kiss.


	4. Those Taco Bell Sauce Packets

Astra sat, stiff as a board, in the so-uncomfortable-it's-almost-comfortable booth of Taco Bell. Her head was tilted, pensive, as she glared at color scheme of the fast food establishment. A hand rested on the somewhat dirty table and she drummed her fingers against the plastic. She glanced at Alex, who was leaning against the ordering counter. Her Brave One flashed a smile at her and then turned as the employee delivered a tray _stacked_ with burritos.

She was so focused on the gentle whirring of the Freezie machine in the back, that she didn't catch what Alex said. But the employee dove under the counter and emerged a second later with two handfuls of some orange, red, and black packages of sauce.

Alex nodded at them, joining her girlfriend at the table a second later. She placed the tray between them.

"Your other burritos will be out soon, "Alex commented, "Ten should get you by until then."

Astra snatched a burrito from the pile and was about to devour it (wrappings and all cause she was _starving_ ), but stopped mid-bite. She watched curious, as Alex tore into one of the rectangular packages, opened her burrito and poured it onto the questionable-looking bean filling. Alex noticed the alien was watching her and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

She reached for another package of sauce, read the message, and snorted. She threw the package across the table at Astra.

' _Caught you staring_ ' it read. Astra had to fight a smile.

Another package, this time orange, was thrown at her. She caught it easily. ' _I think you're pretty._ '

Astra went to the pile of sauces and picked one up. There wasn't a message on it?? She frowned and tried again. This time it said, _'I'm the hot one.'_

She chucked it at Alex's face.


	5. Thanksgiving Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Astra is invited to her first Thanksgiving Day with the Danvers and Alex has about /had it/ with Eliza.
> 
> Luckily alcohol solves everything.

It wasn’t as though Alex had planned on getting wasted for Thanksgiving. It was kind of a tradition, but she never walked in thinking ' _Might as well get hammered_.' But even though Eliza had promised to do better, well… She sometimes slipped back into that overcritical mom role that made Alex need a new liver. 

As soon as they walked in, she was already ready to leave.

“Alex, it’s not that humid outside. What happened to your hair?”

 _Those curls in her hair weren’t apparently a style…_ Astra had swallowed a laugh. Alex had swallowed half a bottle of wine.

“Go easy tonight.” Kara whispered in her ear.

Alex forced a smile, “You know I love you but-“

“Would anyone like refreshments?” Eliza’s voice cut through the music in the apartment. “Except for you, Alex. You’ve had enough.”

She was just glad she didn’t have super strength or else Kara’s wine glass would be shattered in her hand.

“Good evening Astra, forgive my manners. I don’t think we’ve gotten to talk yet. Thank you so much for being my daughter’s designated driver.”

 _The glass might just shatter yet._ Her eye twitched as she stalked away.

After escaping to the less crowded living room Alex sighed in relief, “Well it’s a good thing I anticipated this.” Alex held her glass of wine in one hand and took out her flask from her back pocket with the other.

Astra returned to Alex’s side, having finally escaped from Dr. Danvers. Not to say she wasn’t a lovely woman, but…

“She almost makes me wish _I_ could drink….” Astra wrapped an arm loosely around Alex’s waist.

“Oh my god, guys.” Kara rolled her eyes and then she shot Alex a look, “At least pace yourself.”

She gave Alex’s arm a gentle squeeze and went to go mingle with the other party guests.

The couple moved around the apartment to talk, eat, dance, eat some more, drink, eat pie, drink some more...

Alex was using Astra to shield her as she took a sip from her flask. Astra nudged her gently with her hip.

“Oh, incoming threat.” Astra warned jokingly.

The younger woman quickly closed the flask and stuffed it in Astra’s back pocket. Astra’s arm wrapped around her shoulder and Alex’s hand stayed in her back pocket, making Astra want to groan.

“You two have been awfully close this whole night.” Eliza smiled. “Alex, anything you want to tell me?”

“No, just,” She shrugged and looked at Astra then back at her mom, “We’re just enjoying the party.”

Eliza hummed like she didn't believe it, but decided that whenever her daughter wanted to come out about her relationship with Kara's aunt... Well, she was going to be supportive.


	6. Alex on Painkillers = Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:
> 
> "What happened to your arm?" and "High School Musical."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna let y'all know that when I saw those prompts /together/ I snorted. Cause someone breaking their arm over high school musical sounds like a trip and a half.

Astra lay on the bed reading a book Kara had recommended to her. ‘English Idioms for Dummies.’ After the last game night where Alex and Kara had to explain an idiom to her for about 20 minutes, she had to admit this book would be useful… She flipped a couple pages and mentally stored the phrase ‘come in handy,’ though it made no grammatical sense.

She heard the shuffle and stomps of footsteps in the hallway, then the sound of a key turning into the lock in the apartment. The Kryptonian smiled, glad her mate was home to relieve her boredom. She put the book away, setting it on her bedside table, and walked to the living room to greet her.

She frowned when she saw Hank leading Alex with an arm around her shoulder. “What happened to your arm?” Alex’s arm sat in a sling and she had a miserable pout on her face. Astra walked over, putting soothing hand on her back.

Alex grumbled. “Don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.”

“She’s taken some pain meds, so she’s a little out of it.” Hank warned, removing his arm. Alex swayed once her stabilizer was removed, she looked half asleep.

Astra looked at her with concern. “Let’s go lay down,”

“No! I wanna watch High School Musical.”

Hank was trying to hide his amusement as Astra raised an eyebrow at her command. “That’s my cue to leave.” He nodded to the alien and left quickly. Too quickly…

Alex decided she couldn’’t stand anymore so she shuffled over to the couch and plopped down. She winced and threw her head back in pain, letting out a groan, when her arm was jarred. “Motherfucker!”

Astra watched her build an armrest out of couch cushions. The intent seemed well reasoned, but the fact she had a mountain of pillows next to the _actual_ armrest of the couch was pretty amusing for Astra. And alarming. _W_ _hat the hell had they given her?_

“Do you need anything?” Astra asked, hovering behind the couch.

“High School Musical.”

Astra had absolutely no idea what that was, but assumed it was a movie on Netflix. She navigated the TV and managed to locate this movie that Alex was determined to watch. When the movie started, Astra moved to sit next to Alex on the couch, putting a hand on her knee.

“Thank you for grounding me.” She whispered, eyes misty.

The Kryptonian bit her lip to keep from laughing.

The next instant, “I’m hungry.” Alex announced, no trace of her previous emotional state.

Astra could help with that at least, “And what do you want to eat?”

No response. Alex’s eyes were fixed on the TV though they looked glazed over.

“Alexandra?”

Still nothing. Astra squeezed her leg and then Alex snapped. She glared at her girlfriend and said. “I’m trying to watch this.”

Astra swallowed a laugh. She got up and decided to prepare a bag of popcorn. Through trial and error, months earlier, she had finally figured out the perfect exposure time of microwave radiation for the kernels. She poured the steaming buttery contents into a separate bowl and plopped down on the couch next to Alex.

The DEO Agent immediately went for the food, grabbing a handful and shoving it in her mouth. Only half fell to the floor and on her lap. Astra shrugged and just let her be. She could always vacuum later.

 _Halfway through the movie_ when all the popcorn was gone, Astra heard her mate huff out a breath. She looked over, confused when Alex’s eyes were narrowed at the TV.

“Wait a minute…” She growled. “This isn’t the sequel one…”

Astra flicked her eyes from Alex to the TV and then back to her human. “…No.”

“Why’d you change it?!”

“… I didn’t.”

Alex scoffed, disbelieving. She sank into the couch and grumbled about being forced to watch the first movie until she  _finally_ fell into a painkiller induced deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned I'm an absolute slut for the headcanon that Astra reads those 'for dummies' books religiously?


	7. Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted to another fic but was taken down (rip Canon Divergence AU). 
> 
> I love the petname Bunny and this was my take on how that came to be~

Alex set the grocery bags on the bar counter before looking at the time. She expected Astra would be here soon, though they hadn’t arranged to hang out every night. Despite the initial distrust and the way the woman infuriated her, she hoped the Kryptonian would show up. She wanted Astra to defect for Kara.

The agent went to her bedroom to change. As she slipped off her shirt and pants, she flushed, wondering if Astra was watching her now. Subconsciously, she straightened and her abdominal muscles tensed.

 _Trying to show off to a Kryptonian_ , _yeah right!_ She kicked herself and threw on baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt. She exited her bedroom, letting out a sigh when she saw the living room was empty.

Then she flinched violently in surprise when Astra appeared at her balcony door.

The Kryptonian General laughed as she entered, “You are easily frightened, perhaps I should call you Bunny instead of Brave One.”

Alex blushed at the pet name, frowning. “Please don’t.”

“Your heart is hammering like one.”

“Stop!” She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed.

Astra chuckled and stalked closer, “A great warrior is always on defense, Alexandra.”

Alex passed her hands down her face; she hated her full name. She looked up at the other woman and felt a magnetic pull, urging her to step closer even if only by half a step. She said, “Just call me Alex.”

Astra raised a hand, intending to brush a finger down her jaw, but noticed the panic in Alex’s eyes and so she redirected. She grabbed her bicep to squeeze gently in what she hoped was good comradery fashion. “We shall see.”

Alex pouted, but she couldn’t decide if she was pouting because of Astra’s answer or the lackluster gesture. Then she had to wonder why she wanted Astra to touch her at all- but she shut down that train of thought. She brushed her hair behind her ears and jokingly threatened, “If you don’t call me Alex, I’m not going to let you eat any salad.”

She smirked, “Is that so?” Astra watched the agent step past her and unload the grocery bags. Lettuce, kale, tomatoes, carrots, pomegranates, sunflower seeds…She picked up the romaine lettuce and grinned evilly, “… Bunny.”

Alex glared at her. 


	8. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another part of a deleted chapter of an old uncompleted fic XP

It had been going pleasant enough. Astra had gotten all of three steps into the apartment when a shirt had been flung into her face. She pulled the plaid button up shirt away, pouting. Well, until she saw Alex dressed in civilian clothes (a.k.a. some tight jeans and a nice grey sweater), then she felt her mouth go dry. Any moping was put on hold to admire the woman.

“Put it on, we’re going out tonight.” Alex had said, nodding to the shirt crumpled in her strong grip.

“I have no choice in the matter?” Astra had asked. Despite the challenge, she shrugged the shirt on over her battle suit.

“I guess you could stay here by yourself.”  Alex had walked over and reached for the zipper by her throat and Astra had let her unzip it to midchest. “So it doesn’t look weird.” She had explained.

Luckily Alex had stepped back to let Astra button the shirt. The Kryptonian was sure she wouldn’t have been able to handle nimble fingers helping her dress. The shirt was long enough that the bottom part of her battlesuit just looked like leggings.

“Okay, ready?”

And she had nodded.

But Astra _hadn’t been ready_ for her first night out at a busy restaurant. The menu was so extensive and she wondered aloud how an establishment could have so much food ready to order. Alex had taken the question in stride and answered with, “It doesn’t matter.”

The sensory overload was awful. She had to deal with the numerous patrons talking and eating loudly. She had never been in a room with so many humans before. It was a bit overwhelming, even with Alex’s hand reaching across the table to ground her.

But then their food had been delivered, which helped distract her. She also found it amusing that Alex still held her hand, despite some awkwardness of eating with the nondominant one. The food had been great and Astra had relaxed enough to enjoy Alex’s company until she overheard a waitress being verbally abused by a customer. Alex had seen the slight twitch of the Kryptonian’s eye, but she didn’t think Astra would fucking storm over to the dudebros that were throwing a fit.

Alex had tried to pull Astra back, but she was immovable. And then the next moment Astra (and Alex by association) were being asked to leave by the manager.

The DEO Agent was shaking with silent laughter, leading Astra out of the building with their arms linked. They were just going to walk home, since it was nice out. She spared a glance at the other woman and Astra looked pissed.

“How are we the ones being forced out of the establishment?” She fumed, but taking solace in the way Alex’s body leaned against hers.

Alex laughed, “You can’t just tell people you’re going to snap their necks!”

Astra rolled her eyes, a trick Kara had most likely taught her. At her side, Alex was still giggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love date nights~


	9. Captain Planet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect a wave of updates today. I'm editing 4 of these small ones and then switching to a bigger one and back and forth until everything is done. Lol, I will live off coffee today.

Alex finished showing Astra another documentary on climate change. While there was _obviously_ enough evidence to conclude that the Earth was heading down a dangerous path, “I promise, Earth isn’t in as bad a shape as Krypton was.”

Astra conceded that Earth had a while until it’s ultimate destruction, but she argued. “We should begin reversing the effects while we can.”

“Absolutely.” Alex agreed. “You could be a pro-environmental hero-“

“Wonder Woman is one and yet the politicians still let companies buy rights to pollute.”

Alex made a face at the point. “Yeah, but change is slow.”

“I do not think waiting is in anyone’s best interest.”

Alex sighed and turned the TV off. She looked at the Kryptonian for a moment, worrying her lip. So maybe the documentaries hadn’t convinced her, “Myriad still isn’t the answer…”

They sat in the dark for a moment, the silence loud, before Astra said, “I merely want immediate action.”

Annoyed that Astra wasn’t accepting any other option, Alex mumbled out, “Don’t be Wonder Woman then. You could be the new Captain Planet or something.”

Astra frowned. “But I am a General.”


	10. Feelings Are Hard to Deal With (a grenade)

“Drinking again, Brave One?”

“Bite me.”

Astra gave her a strange look. “What would that accomplish?”

Alex huffed out a laugh. Even when she was _frustrated_ with the woman, the Kryptonian innocence was too funny. “Nevermind.” She drank the contents of her glass.

“You have been very distant, Alexandra.” Astra mentioned. She took a seat next to her human and was surprised when Alex moved further away, as though to prove her point. She narrowed her eyes. “Is there a problem between us?”

“Besides you bugging me?”

Astra scoffed, “A marked difference in your feelings compared to last night.”

“Shut up.” She wasn’t supposed to bring _that_ up. They weren’t supposed to talk about it.

“You fight your own feelings.”

Yet the woman wouldn’t stop prodding her. She felt the anger try to melt away when Astra’s hand rubbed her back.

“You have been acting strange.” Astra said. Alex sighed in response, so she continued. “Should I be worried?”

“No.”

“Confront your fears. I have never seen your emotional state effect you this way.”

“I’m not scared.” Alex hissed, standing up to get away from her “And I’m not feeling anything.” God, why was Astra prodding her when she-

Astra narrowed her eyes. “Why are you walking away? I am trying to comfort you.”

“I don’t want it.”

“You are so stubborn! Clearly you are unhappy about something.”

Alex turned around and threw her hands in the air in frustration. “So take a hint!”

“Excuse me?” She stood to follow Alex as she retreated to her bedroom. The sheets on the bed were still a mess.

“I’m just dealing with stuff.” Alex sat on the edge of her bed and glared up, “I don’t wanna talk to you yet.”

Astra’s jaw clenched but she closed the bedroom door behind her as she left Alex alone.


	11. "Did you hear that?" "Can I kiss you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prompt.

Astra pouted as she sat on the couch. “I’m famished.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed long-suffering, having heard her the first _fifteen times_.

“How much longer?”

“Just watch the stupid show and don’t think about it.” Alex said. She dropped down beside the woman on the couch and her hand automatically went to rest on Astra’s thigh.

The Kryptonian scooted over and put an arm around her shoulder. “I cannot concentrate.” Her stomach rumbled angrily.

Alex rubbed her leg. “When did you get so dramatic?”

They sat on the couch. Astra fidgeted too much to really cuddle comfortably.

Then finally, the oven timer dinged.

“Did you hear that?” She perked up, a big grin on her face. She was acting like an excited kid.

Alex laughed. “Yeah, babe.” She smacked the thigh under her hand and got up to take the seven-layer lasagna out of the oven. She almost dropped it when she turned and Astra was right behind her, looking ready to ravage the dish. Her mouth was practically watering.

Alex shooed her away and prepared a plate for the two of them. When she placed the food in front of Astra, the Kryptonian looked completely overwhelmed.  She looked at the dish and then at her lover, “Can I kiss you?”

Alex just grinned.


	12. Kinda Kinky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was when I was trying out the choking kink for Kendrick xP
> 
> Takes place after that Red Tornado episode.

Astra’s breath was hot on the shell of Alex’s ear as she accused, “You claim you cannot trust me.” A strong Kryptonian hand was wrapped dangerously tight around the human’s throat. The agent fought until the fingers squeezed in warning. She felt the head rush and collapsed back into the wall, limp. The General continued once she went slack, “Yet your government develops weapons they cannot even control.”

 “I told Kara not to fight it.” Alex all but wheezed out, blinking in an effort to focus. She tried to claw uselessly into the steel-like skin of her captor.

“My niece wanted to prove herself. And now she is powerless and you’re injured. Again.” Astra raised a hand to the bruises on Alex’s side. The agent swallowed, her throat moving painfully under the hold. She felt Astra shift closer, saw the woman grin evilly, when Alex’s hip involuntarily bucked into hers.

The Kryptonian pressed her hand tighter. “It seems you enjoy this, Brave One.”

Alex’s eyes clenched shut. “Fuck off.”

“I will admit that I am fond of this position too.” Astra moved to rest her forehead against Alex’s. Piercing green eyes stared down at her. “Submit to me.”

“Stop it, Astra. Now.” Alex hadn’t felt truly threatened until this moment. Her hand moved from Astra’s arm down to the holster of her gun.

Astra cocked an eyebrow up. “You would defy our truce?” Her hold eased slightly. “I thought you were honorable.”

“You’re trying to choke me out.”

“I was under the impression you didn’t mind.”

Alex’s ears burned, but she glowered at Astra’s smug face all the same.


	13. Kiss on the Knee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It has been a while~
> 
> this is from one of those kiss prompts. It was "Kiss on the knee- support"

The lights in the apartment were off, and except for the dim glow by the balcony door, the room was shrouded in shadows. Astra insisted the nightlight was for the potted plant she had gotten to take care of, though Alex assumed the total darkness reminded the Kryptonian of her stay in the Phantom Zone.

“Astra?”

Then Alex spotted her. Her girlfriend’s white streak gleamed as she turned to nod at her. “Good evening.”

Alex set her workbag down and decided that flicking on the lights might not be such a good idea just yet. She motioned to the room with a hand, “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

Astra held up her mug. “I was drinking tea. I didn’t realize the sun had set.”

Alex guessed that the drink had gone cold. Not that Astra couldn’t heat it up, but Alex was more worried about the Kryptonian’s sullen mood now. “So what’s up? What’s wrong?”

Astra nursed the tea in her lap again, hands curling around the mug. She looked down into the liquid as though it held all the answers. She frowned. When she looked back up, her face was carefully blank. “Nothing too concerning.”

Alex wasn’t about to have Astra avoid talking about her problems. She sat down on the floor in front of her girlfriend, resting her elbows on Astra’s knees. “Tell me anyway?” Her arms stretched across her Kryptonian’s thighs. One hand curled to hold her hip; her thumb pushed aside Astra’s sleep shirt and rubbed gently against her skin.

“… I am having a difficult time adjusting.”

Alex knew that had been almost impossible for Astra to divulge. She ran a hand over Astra’s thigh soothingly.

Astra grimaced. “I think it would be best for me to find a different way to spend my time instead of working at the DEO.”

Alex was surprised and more than a little sad to hear it. They wouldn’t get to run missions together or even spend lunch breaks with each other… But Alex needed Astra to be happy, first and foremost.

“What would you do?”

“There is my dilemma.”

Alex threw out random career ideas for her, from full time sustainable farmer to a Broadway singer.

Astra chuckled and gave Alex’s hand a tiny pat.

Alex pressed a kiss to her knee. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.”

Astra sent a multitude of ‘Thank you’s’ to Rao for delivering Alex into her life. Then she tugged at the agent’s arm. She set her mug of tea aside to make room for Alex to sit on her lap. She curled her arms around her mate and rested her forehead against her shoulder.

“Thank you, Alexandra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one and the next one kinda go together


	14. "You look like an accident"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was another prompt sent to me

Alex entered her apartment with exhaustion set deep in her bones. She shuffled inside and leaned against the closed door, eyes closed as she kicked off her work boots. She gave a ragged sigh and tried to muster up the energy to take a shower and fall into bed.

“You look like an accident.”

Tired eyes snapped open again. Normally, she would’ve taken the bait and bickered or insisted that she was _fine, thank you for the complement anyway._ It just wasn’t happening today though. Determined to be a little more composed in front of her girlfriend, Alex ran a hand through her hair and forced a smile.

The Kryptonian General didn’t buy it. Astra stood from her place at dining room table, abandoning her book. They met in the middle of the room and Alex all but fell into Astra’s impossibly strong arms. Forget pretending like she wasn’t about to fall asleep on her feet, that took too much effort.

Astra had no trouble holding her up. Halfway delighted in the show of affection, but also concerned at Alex’s need for comfort- she asked, “That weary, Brave One?” Alex merely exhaled a hot breath onto her neck. Astra shivered at the feeling.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” Alex said, nuzzling into the Kryptonian’s soft hair for a moment before she tried to move. The arms locked around her kept her in place.

“Should I prepare food?”

And Alex _hadn’t_ eaten all day, but she didn’t think she could stomach anything heavy this late at night. She shook her head, “Nah, I just wanna cuddle with you and sleep.”

Astra released her then. “Very well.”

Alex pressed a kiss to her lips and then stumbled to the bathroom. She had already taken a shower at the DEO to clean the blood and grime and rubble off, but she felt like she needed another before crawling into bed with her girlfriend. With steam starting to fog the mirror already, she shed her clothes and sighed as she stepped into the shower.

She stood under the stream of water, letting the heat soak and soothe her muscles. She barely cracked an eye open when the bathroom door knob turned.

“Your pajamas.” Astra explained over the noise of the shower.

“Thank you.” Alex washed her hair, just hours ago the locks were matted and dusted in flakes of drywall. Once the suds were rinsed out, she peeked around the shower curtain to see Astra sitting on the counter of the bathroom sink. Alex frowned at the troubled look on her girlfriend’s face.

She watched Astra stare at the linen closet before resuming her washing. Then-

“I should be assisting the DEO.”

Alex ran the washcloth down her arms over the new bruises and scrapes. “Don’t feel guilty, Astra.”

They’d had this conversation before.

Astra never actually wanted to help the DEO, not after her less than ideal interactions with the organization. She was content to work elsewhere- to better the world by alternate means, be that with environmental protection or teaching recreational classes at the community college. Astra deserved an easy life away from the battles, but it wasn’t that easy.

Alex knew that Astra blamed herself for missions gone wrong, for complications with bringing in hostiles, because Astra thought she was _obligated_ to aid in the capture of the rogue aliens. Any time Alex arrived home looking like a wreck, sporting a new injury…

Astra’s mood soured uncomfortably.

The Kryptonian opted to grunt instead of reply and Alex rolled her eyes. Astra just couldn’t seem to _get_ it.

“Seriously,” Alex turned off the water and grabbed the towel hanging up past the curtain, “I just want you to be happy, Astra.”

“How can I be when you have bad days like this and I wasn’t there?” Astra argued.

Alex stepped out of the shower and grinned as Astra averted her gaze. So polite. But still so needy that she had to be in the same room.

As the DEO agent toweled off, she said “This is just part of my job, Astra. I wouldn’t have _any_ fun out on the field if you were there as my bodyguard.”

The tease merited her pajamas blindly chucked at her, smacking her in the face. Alex chuckled and shrugged on her clothes.

“If not my protection, then just my assistance-“

Alex walked over to where Astra was sitting and reached up to cup the Kryptonian’s cheek. Astra looked down at her, eyes soft, but eyebrows furrowed in internal conflict.

“You know how you can help me?” Alex asked with a small smile.

Catching onto her playful tone, Astra gave a short laugh. She remembered Alex’s previous request, so she slid off of the countertop, landing with their bodies flush together. She picked Alex up, ignoring the indignant huff, and carried her to bed.


	15. "Can You Stop" -Grenade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this one while I was organizing my writing files lol. I guess I was in a Mood...
> 
> In which Kara openly disapproves of Astra and Alex enough that they have to break up

Alex sighed as she entered her empty apartment. She slammed her work bag onto the floor. There was no plant to water, no cat to feed and worst- no Kryptonian ex-General to cuddle. All she had was an empty bed to crawl into and maybe some booze to drink.

But even alcohol couldn’t help how shitty she felt.

She threw her phone onto the dining room table and went to change into a too big sweatshirt and some shorts.

As she exited the bathroom, her phone buzzed loudly against the wood table. She crossed the room and groaned when she saw who was calling. She hit the ignore button.

Yeah, she felt guilty for avoiding Kara but… She ground her teeth against the anger she felt for her sibling. Kara sent _another_ message, which Alex ignored with a rock in her heart.

_‘Alex, talk to me. I miss my sister.’_

Alex scoffed. She couldn’t be guilt-tripped into responding, despite not speaking to Kara in…

Holy fuck, it’d already been a week.

A full week since her perfect life, her happiness, had been burned to the ground in true universal karmic fashion _as always._

She turned off her phone, annoyed at the buzzing noises. Alex looked at the clock. It was way past 2 am. She had been clocking in an insane amount of overtime trying to distract herself from the living hell her life had become. She crawled into bed, fighting the urge to drink some cough syrup to sleep well like she had back in college.

Turned out it was so much harder to fall asleep alone after… After she had gotten attached the domesticity, had gotten used to having _Astra_ around. Alex tossed over onto her side and hugged a pillow to her chest. It would have to make do until _she_ came back.

_If she ever came back._

As stubbornly as Alex was avoiding Kara, Astra was ignoring her ten times as hard. And it hurt. Every deflected glance, every indifferent nod…

_Fuck._

Her heart shattered just thinking about how Astra wouldn’t answer her questions. It was like Astra had never cared for her at all… Had she meant _anything_ to the General for her to just throw it all away? Alex nuzzled into her pillow, determined not to cry. She hadn’t cried once this whole ordeal except the night Astra had left. But fuck, she missed her even through the heartbreak. Alex sniffed, her throat closing up, eyes misty.

_Fuckin’ hell._

That’s when someone slammed into her balcony door. Alex heaved a sigh. “I don’t want you here, Kara.” She should’ve locked the damn door, but she hadn’t just in case Astra wanted to come back.

“Alex?” But now that she was here, Alex wanted her gone. “Brave One?” Astra’s voice demanded an answer but Alex huffed and snuggled deeper into bed. “Are you okay?”

_What a stupid question._

“I thought I heard-“ Astra crossed the living room to stand at the foot of her bed. Alex bit her tongue while Astra let out a sigh that sounded exasperated. She put a hand on Alex’s blanket covered leg and that _did it_.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

“Leaving was not an easy decision.” Astra said, still her voice was passive- like she was talking about the weather. “Kara was uncomfortable with our relationship so I had no choice.”

_Except you fuckin’ did._

Surprisingly, Astra’s tone turned hard. “You are intentionally hurting Kara by ignoring her and I will not stand for it.” She took a deep breath to calm herself, “Nevertheless, Kara is worried about you as am I.”

Alex growled, “I’m fine, thanks. Just stop talking to me please.”

“J’onn informed me you are going to ‘work yourself to death.’”

“What do you care? Look, tell Kara I’ll call her when she starts acting like my sister.”

Kara always told her to be happy and to find love, but _apparently, that was conditional._

Which hurt. So much. Alex deflated even more. “I can’t talk to her right now if I do I’ll just _yell_ at her for being so selfish.”

“Negotiating with my niece will not work. She-“

“Yeah,” Alex interrupted. “Can you stop?”

Astra stressfully ran a hand through her hair. “Alexandra…” Her voice was practically a whine. “It distresses me to see you like this. You can’t damage your relationship with your sister. I’m not worth that.”

“It’s not just about you, Astra.” Why wasn’t Kara happy with whoever she wanted to date? Why had Alex’s relationship with Astra been forbidden by the younger Kryptonian? Why had she been cast away just to appease Kara? She loved her sister and had given up so much for her, but this… This selfishness was intentional and hard to dismiss.

Alex’s jaw clenched and she hissed, “Get the fuck out. I wanna sleep.”

Astra sagged, the fight knocked out of her. As she walked away, Alex called out, softer now, “If you ever get your head out of your ass,” She sighed and admitted, “I… I miss you. You can always come back.”

Then she defiantly closed her eyes, ears straining to hear the balcony door open. When Astra sat on the bed behind her, Alex nearly cried in relief.

“It is far too painful to see you like this.” Astra admitted, spooning her from behind. Alex’s long, deep, shuttering breath said it all. “I am so sorry, Alex.” Astra mumbled into her back.

For a second, Alex thought Astra was apologizing because she was planning on leaving again. Alex tried to twist away, “If you’re not here in the morning Astra, I swear-“

Astra’s grip on her tightened. “No. I hate being apart from you.”

Alex felt her recently shattered heart warm again. She turned so she could snuggle into Astra’s shoulder and wrap her arm around Astra. And they held onto each other all night.


	16. "Let Me Live, Will You?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am both Alex and Astra in this ficlet 
> 
> Hippie vegan Astra tho~~

“You are rather absorbed in this game.” Astra commented as she handed Alex a beer.

“Thank you,” Alex smiled up at her girlfriend and then nodded to the TV. “But yes, look at the kills this round.”

The Kryptonian looked at the screen, quirked an eyebrow up, and then went back to the kitchen.

Alex hadn’t been in the mood for her usual sci-fi or shooting video games. She had picked something less involved, but strategic. This simulation involved mutating a virus to create a pandemic, infecting and killing the world’s population- the challenging part being when countries enacted quarantines. Epidemiology was a fascinating study and this game catered to that interest.

Hilariously though, _after_ Astra had ranted and insisted they never purchase any dairy products again, Alex had been struck with the perfect name for the simulated virus. According to the death toll displayed on the corner of the screen, so far ‘Veganism’ had killed off two billion people.

And that sounded pretty accurate, but Astra hadn’t thought it was funny.

Alex glanced down at the untouched plate of kale chips that sat on the coffee table. Astra meant well, but holy fuck, that didn’t make those damn things any less disgusting. Since her girlfriend didn’t even eat them, it hardly seemed fair that she had to pretend to enjoy them for Astra’s benefit.

As the DEO agent resumed the game, debating the benefits of increasing the contagiousness versus developing more side effects, she distractedly took a sip of her beer and nearly spat it back into the bottle. She read the label and grimaced, “Astra, no.”

_Kombucha beer? Really?_

“It was all you had, Brave One.” Astra replied innocently from across the room.

Alex put the ‘beer’ down and deposited the controller onto the couch. She got up and went to the fridge to grab an _actual_ beer.

“Oh yeah?” Alex challenged as she opened the bottle.

Astra turned and feigned confusion. “My mistake, I didn’t see it.” The playful glint in her eyes gave away her obvious lie.

Alex huffed out a laugh and gulped down half of the beer to rid her mouth of the taste of the disgusting kombucha stuff.  She rested against the fridge for a moment to watch her girlfriend; she smiled at the way Astra hummed a Kryptonian battle hymn as she cooked. She felt a little guilty for her unappreciative attitude then.

The ex-General had gone through all the trouble of baking the kale chips, bringing her a beer, and cooking dinner… All in an attempt to get her to eat healthier or whatever.

Alex pressed a kiss to Astra’s shoulder before returning to the couch. She picked up the controller and placed the cold beer between her thighs. “Oh, damn! Up to five billion infected.”

“That seems… Rather evil.” Astra said over the sound of sizzling food.

“Nah,” Alex said as she chose to upgrade the virus to make it more lethal. “It’s just a game.”

The next round started and Alex turned to look at Astra again. She was _so_ beautiful. Alex considered herself damn lucky to love her, to share these domestic evenings with her. She loved when they had corresponding nights off and they could simply enjoy each other’s company; they could cuddle on the couch while they read or Astra could sketch and Alex could play a video game-

_Oh wait, the game._

Alex forced her attention from Astra back to the TV and frowned at the results of the last round. She really needed to get the virus worldwide before one of the countries developed a cure… She drank her beer and chose the next mutation, then sat back and watched the plague rampage through the world.

Astra stole her attention again when she deposited a plate of chicken wings onto the coffee table next to the (nasty) kale chips. Alex reached out a hand to grab the Kryptonian’s arm and pull the woman onto the couch next to her. Astra laughed and leaned over Alex to grab her abandoned book before curling into her side.

Alex shrugged up a shoulder to make Astra look at her. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s lips and then said, “Love you.”

“I love you too, Alexandra.” Cat-like, the Kryptonian nudged her forehead against Alex’s shoulder before opening her book to resume reading.

Alex started the next round and had to disrupt their cuddling for a moment to grab the plate of food Astra had so lovingly prepared for her. She looked forward to returning the favor tomorrow (though chances were her efforts at cooking wouldn’t go too well and they’d be eating take-out).

They settled back against each other and Alex picked up one of the wings. It was kinda weird that it was deboned, but then she took a bite and realized why.

_Vegan chicken._

Alex pulled a face as she chewed the weirdly textured ‘chicken’ and somehow managed to swallow the bite. She turned to her girlfriend and frowned at Astra’s amused grin, “Let me live, will you?”

_Veganism death toll: total population wiped out._


	17. "Killed him? Wait, what? Literally?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt:
> 
> "Killed him? Wait, what? Literally?"

While Alex pulled up Hulu on Kara’s TV, her sister sped over to the freezer to grab three tubs of ice cream. Astra, settled next to her mate, grabbed the soft blanket from the back of the couch and carefully unfolded it over her lap. Alex bit back a smile as she watched the older Kryptonian try to evenly distribute it across the couch.

Astra reached over Alex and tucked the end of the blanket under her thigh, teasing her by dragging her hand over her lap. The DEO agent raised a challenging eyebrow to her girlfriend and Astra matched her smirk.

Kara returned with their movie snack and spoons. “Break it up, you two.” She joked as she handed a carton of ice cream to each of them. Kara sat next to her aunt and yanked the blanket to stretch it across her crisscrossed legs.

Alex’s indignant noise of protest was muffled by a mouthful of ice cream.  Astra redistributed the blanket, satisfied when they were all cozy again. “There.”

The three women devoured their ice cream, switching with each other at random intervals, as they caught up on their favorite shows.

During one scene when the goofy characters were creating chaos at a high-end restaurant, Kara curled close to her aunt. “Just so you know, don’t _ever_ try caviar.”

“Rich people have such weird taste in food,” Alex commented, leaning against her girlfriend so that Astra was now sandwiched happily between her two favorite people. “Add snail eggs to the list of food you shouldn’t try.”

“Snail eggs?” Astra’s nose crinkled up at the thought.

Kara giggled, “Maxwell Lord made her eat them when she went on a date with that creep.”

Alex felt Astra stiffen beside her so she placed a cold hand on the woman’s blanket-covered knee. “I was undercover for work. So it wasn’t a _date_.”

“But he felt snail eggs were an appropriate meal to court you?” She asked.

The DEO agent shrugged, “Obviously it didn’t work,” She affectionately squeezed her girlfriend’s knee, “For several reasons.”

“Aww,” Kara bumped her shoulder into Astra’s hard enough that all three of them swayed. Then she frowned, “What ever happened to him? He kinda just… disappeared?”

Astra’s lips curled up in a smug smile. “I believe I am the cause of his disappearance. When I destroyed his lab and his insidious plot against us, it killed him.”

“Killed him?” Alex knew the man had an infinite number of labs and all the paranoia in the world; he couldn’t have just given up because Astra decided to crash into one unless… “Wait, what? Literally?”

At her nod, Kara gasped. “Aunt Astra!”

“After he poisoned you with the red Kryptonite, I did not want him able to create other means to harm you. Your DEO couldn’t keep him prisoner.”

Kara sat up, putting space between them. “That doesn’t mean you can just kill him…”

“It was not an assassination, merely an accident.” Astra explained. When Kara deflated and ultimately accepted it, the ex-General felt a little relieved.

Still, she sought extra comfort from her mate. Astra rested her head against Alex’s shoulder, a warm wave of peace washed away the anxiety of disappointing Kara when Alex’s head lay atop hers.

After a beat Astra added, “Though had I known about the date and these snail eggs, his death would have been deliberate.”

Alex snorted, “Well, good riddance.” She playfully tapped her carton of mostly melted ice cream against Astra’s in mock celebration.

Kara sighed and lifted her own tub of ice cream to join theirs in the toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max was pretty shitty anyway. Good job, Astra.
> 
> Also, idfk, the DEO didn't know about his death because of Myriad? 
> 
> AU where Astra doesn't get stabbed, instead she switches sides and helps defeat Non. Max doesn't get the omegahedron (whatever the fuck that does) and Alex and Astra were stupidly in love the entire time.


	18. Universal Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going through all my documents of things that I haven't posted and I found this Gold Mine(tm)
> 
> Based on a convo I had with Kendrick ages ago XD

Kara rubbed her aching forehead, the idiotic Daxamite she used to call a boyfriend had attempted heroics again. Per usual, he saved one person while nearly killing ten others. No matter how many times she told him to just _stay out of it_ , he refused. Even after J’onn threatened to put him on the list of hostiles, Mon-El wouldn’t quit…

Kara still cared for Mon-El in some way, like he was a stray puppy that she felt responsible for. She needed to convince him to lay low somehow… Or maybe he could just return to Daxam?

Alex walked down the hallway of the DEO with a tablet in her hands. Kara welcomed the distraction and flew over to her.

“Hey, Alex!”

“Hey, Kara.” Alex grunted, not taking her eyes off of the data points in front of her. “So I’ve been thinking about this Mon-El problem.” Kara looked over her shoulder, but there was only a correlation graph on there. “I’ve noticed a pattern, at least in regards to him.”

“Hmm?”

“So you know how Max Lord shot himself up into space and then Mon-El crashed landed?”

Kara blinked, “What?”

“Well I have this,” Alex laughed, “This kinda crazy theory I wanna test.”

“Alex, gimme details.”

“Just meet me at the desert base tonight. Bring Mon-El.”

Kara scoffed. “I’m not going to kidnap Mon-El.”

“Fine, I’ll handle it. Just meet me there. Nine pm sharp.”

* * *

Kara landed next to her sister. “What the hell, Alex?”

Mon-El was hogtied in the dirt next to Alex’s feet. He even had a rag stuffed in his mouth. Alex’s eyes stayed on her tablet, but Kara could see that the woman was just playing Candy Crush now.

“What is this about?”

Alex exited out of the game and brought up her graph again. “Throw him into space.”

“What?”

Mon-El thrashed more on the ground, looking like a fish flopping out of water.

“Look! This pattern indicates some kind of weird _exchange_.” She looked half-crazed like a mad-scientist.

“Alex, I know we need to get rid of him but-“

“I’m just saying… There’s a heavy correlation between one bad guy being throw into space and receiving another, though more mild, bad guy in exchange.”

Supergirl bent down and ungagged the Daxamite. Immediately he said, “I’m not a fan of this plan. Just for the record.”

“No one is keeping a record and no one cares.” Alex informed him.

Kara shook her head. “I _just_ taught him slang though, Alex.”

Alex frowned. “Winn did.”

Kara crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed with Alex’s quip. The last thing she expected was for Alex’s bottom lip to jut out slightly.

“Oh, that’s not fair. You can’t use _my_ pout against me.”

“Please, Kara?”

Kara rolled her eyes at Alex. “Fine. But now I’m immune to that pout.”

“Wait,” The jar of mayonnaise started, “Does that mean-”

Kara flung Mon-El into space by his ankle. “Okay there. Happy?”

“Give it a second…” Alex and Kara looked up at the sky. As soon as Mon-El disappeared with a ‘ping’ and a glint-

Something else began falling from the sky. Kara flew up and caught the vessel.

“Nice.” Alex said as she entered another set of data points.

“Uh, Alex.” Kara’s voice was quiet. She landed the pod down gently.

“Oh my god, is that Astra?” Alex asked, practically throwing the tablet into the dirt.

Astra burst from the pod, the door smacked Supergirl and caused her to fly back. The next second, Astra had her hands wrapped around Alex’s throat.

“You,” The Kryptonian growled. “You killed me.”

Kara shoved them apart. “Hey, hey.” Alex panted in a couple breaths, a hand going up to soothe the skin of her neck. “She didn’t mean to.”

Astra took a step forward and Alex matched the challenging stance.

“You put a sword through me!”

“I brought you back!”

“Stop fighting guys!” Kara’s grip tightened on both of their collarbones and their knees buckled.

Alex tried to smack her sister's hand away, “Ouch, Kara…” 

“Oops, sorry Alex.” She eased her grip but said, "No killing each other." Then she released them both.

Astra and Alex stayed chest-to-chest though. The older Kryptonian shook her head. “You are as foolish as you are brave.”

“Yeah well,” Alex’s tongue poked out to lick her lips, “You’re as evil as you are beautiful.”

Kara screeched, covering her eyes as the two shared a long-awaited kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not the stupidest thing I've ever written LOL


End file.
